Ten Principles for Fighting Fair</TILE></HEAD><BODY>
<big><big><strong>1.</strong> Don’t avoid conflict with the silent treatment.<br /><br /><strong>2.</strong> Don’t save “emotional trading stamps.”<br /><br /><strong>3.</strong> If possible, prepare the setting for disagreement.<br /><br /><strong>4.</strong> Attack the problem, not each other.<OL>• back up accusations with facts<br />• remember to forget (stay in the present)<br />• no cracks about In-Laws or relatives<br />• no cracks about your mate’s appearance<br />• no dramatics (crying, threats)</OL><strong>5.</strong> Don’t throw your feelings like stones (at your spouse).<br /><br /><strong>6.</strong> Stay on the subject.<br /><br /><strong>7.</strong> Offer solutions with your criticisms.<br /><br /><strong>8.</strong> Never say, “<em>You never</em>” or “<em>You always</em>.”<OL>• turn down the Volume<br />• don’t exaggerate.</OL><strong>9.</strong> Don’t manipulate your mate with, “It’s all my fault.”<br /><br /><strong>10.</strong> When you’re wrong, admit it; when you’re right, shut up. Be humble --- you could be wrong. <br />(Wright, Communication. . . 138-157).
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